Gaza, Political

Thank/Damn You For The Text

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Thank you for the text.

Thank you for giving me enough time to finish watching this football game. Perhaps my children have enough time to finish their homework too before we evacuate. They haven’t exercised in a while so this should be good for them. Thank you for giving us time to finish our luxurious meal of seafood and the finest meat. I really needed these few minutes to call someone to let them know we’ll be living at our beach house until this is all over. Why live in the beach house? Hell, let’s book a plane ticket and go live in Paris. I bet I have enough time to take a few pictures and post them on social networks #surviving. Thank you for the adrenaline rush; I almost forgot what it felt like to be alive.

Damn you for the text.

Damn you for forcing me to choose between saving my children and my paralyzed father. Damn you for making us homeless and taking away whatever sense of security we had left. Damn you for forcing us to realize that you could kill us if you wanted but that you’re not going to because you’d rather extend our agony. Damn you for terrifying my children and ruining their innocence. You took away what little hope of getting an education they had. The only hope I had for them. Damn you for giving us a chance to survive a little longer. Damn you for not uniting me with the rest of my family. Damn you for making me wish I didn’t have these few minutes to escape..

gM9oTGyYou see, it’s like you’re standing in front of a panel with 50 red buttons with a gun to your head. One of these buttons will kill you when you press it, but every time your finger approaches one of them the man with the gun tells you “this won’t kill you” and so you press it only to live a few more seconds. You keep going and he tells you you’re safe as you press another one and as soon as you take your finger off the button, BAM. The button didn’t kill you, maybe the lethal button was the 50th and he knows it. You just died because he felt like it. He felt like he “extended” your life long enough.

It’s not just murder. It’s torturing people and taking away everything they have. It’s about making death the only way to escape.

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Uncategorized

Occupied premises.

Chiller

The telly is on. Your eldest is deeply involved in her mobile phone. The middle one is doing homework – reluctantly – at the dining table, and the youngest one is running a brightly coloured plastic car across your face, and occasionally the cat, whose tail twitches up each time it happens, like a warning cobra. Sooner or later the scenario with the cat is going to end badly, but it hasn’t yet. There is nothing on the telly, so of course you’re watching it.

Then there’s an awful crash – the sort of sound that unequivocally signals that something very, very bad is happening – from the front door. You give your spouse the sort of look that says “keep an eye on the kids”, and they understand, and you leave them, skidding out onto the tiles in your socked feet, wishing you hadn’t kicked your shoes off because…

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ambition, dreams, football, medicine, Messi, personal

My purpose, my spark, my life support, and everything else.

defibrillator-paddlesI think it’s only appropriate that one of my first posts has to be somewhat personal and here it is. If you’re going to be following this blog then don’t get used to this. I’m sure almost everyone who knows me well enough will be surprised with this entry not because of what it contains but because I actually wrote it. I’m going to be discussing three things:

My purpose:
So let’s start with my purpose, my main reason for existence: medicine. I consider myself a lucky man (no not really, I constantly feel like I’m being chased by bad luck) but in this case I am lucky. In this day and age only a few people have a purpose. Almost everyone heads into engineering or business because they’re the only viable options with actual careers. They don’t want to do it, barring a few people, but they do it because they don’t know what else is out there or what might work out for them.

  I knew what I wanted since I was 6, since my first grade “What do you want to be when you grow up?” 5 sentence essay. It’s not easy having a purpose especially that to get to what I want I have to work relentlessly for the first 30-40 years of my life, that I almost gave up on at some point but we’ll get to that later, but it certainly is worthwhile. If I was handed 200 millions dollars right now on the condition that I give up being a physician I probably wouldn’t take it. I mean yeah sure, my summers would be a million times better and more interesting and I would be able to build a couple of hospitals even, but it wouldn’t satisfy me. I was born for a purpose and without it I can never be complete. If you gave me half a million dollars unconditionally I would probably spend it all on my medical education.

  Some might say this just another doctor’s God complex but I don’t think it is. It’s a beeper inside my head that won’t stop beeping until I’m done doing what I have to do right now as a med student. A beeper that makes sure I’m done studying at least a day before my test, but one that’s non-existent when it comes to other aspects of my life like piano, tennis, swimming, or basketball lessons. I don’t want know where I’d be without my beeper.

My spark:
My spark is what ignited my purpose when I nearly let laziness conquer me and luckily my spark appeared in the 9th grade. Middle School was a tough period mainly because we didn’t actually learn anything at school. My brain began to shut down and I had no thoughts. Now that I think of it, I was the kind of person that I despise now. I would go to school and come home to watch tv. Productivity: ZERO. I gave up on a lot of things and just wanted to sit there doing nothing until one day as I watched tv aimlessly I found a football match and having nothing else to do I decided to watch. Within the first 3 minutes I saw a player I did not know at the time kick the ball above two players from the opposing team then head it in midair to his teammate who gave it the slightest of touches to put in the back of the net. It was magic, out of this world, simply extraordinary. It shocked me how people can be THIS good at something, the play was near perfection. Needless to say the player who gave the ball the faintest of touches to put the icing on the cake was Lionel Messi.

  In my less than ordinary life I have never seen anything done with such talent and professionalism. It was like they were playing a symphony and so I couldn’t resist and made sure to watch every single game to see this wizardry. I guess the defining moment was in the semifinal and Barcelona needed one goal to qualify to the finals and couldn’t get it until the 90th minute when Iniesta scored and my heart exploded. I decided to live up to Barcelona’s standards and become as good at medicine as they are at football.

andres-iniesta_1398881cMy life support:
The final piece of the puzzle: my friends. My friends are there for the good and more importantly for the worst. Life would be unbearable without them. If you’re reading this and you know you’re one of them then I suggest you bookmark this article because you won’t hear me say it often. The best thing about having a large group of friends is that we all have the same core but we’re all so different. Each one of us brings something different to the table so instead of having one person cheer you up, you get 6-8 different people each in his own way. I’m sure this bothers restaurant owners though because instead of getting a couple of people eating and talking they get over half a dozen people who laugh like maniacs. The best companions for the greatest trip.

*Any attempt to describe or praise my mother’s role will never suffice so let’s leave it at that.

 

 

 

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Religion

“People don’t change”

Some say that losing your faith in God can make you lose your faith in people, but no one ever discusses the opposite. What if believing that people can’t change or are hopeless makes you lose your faith in God?

You see, by believing that people can’t change one subconsciously realizes that people don’t really have a choice and that they’re born to follow a certain path. Let’s say person X’s good deeds outweigh his bad ones and vice versa for person Y and that you believe they can’t change. Eventually X’s deeds will lead him to heaven as Y’s will lead him to hell and if they can’t control that because “they can’t change” then there’s no choice here. Person X was born to end up in heaven and person Y to end up in hell. How can you believe in a God who creates a servant only to send him/her to hell? It’s illogical and you don’t realize it but your brain comprehends it and the thought eventually builds up inside your head.

I now realize that this is why prophets can’t give up on people regardless of how much they were harmed. They couldn’t just give up on someone who disobeyed God because that would mean that God created that person only to torture him for all of eternity and that’s not how God works. I suppose this is why atheism is at an all time high in Egypt right now. We’ve given up on each other because we lost hope. We gave up and stopped caring about what happened to the people around us and we lost faith even in ourselves, and some of us lost faith in God.

 

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