Vocabulary

Do you ever stop to think about how language often fails us? I’m bilingual and I’ve worked as a writer for over 3 years but still can’t help but feel that we can’t always express how we feel. Words are insufficient. To describe human emotions as a spectrum would be an understatement. We can be satisfied, joyous, irritated, depressed, angry, and so much more. It would take a dozen books to describe human emotions because each emotion isn’t fixed. You aren’t the same amount of happy each time you smile. Sometimes happiness can last a minute and sometimes it can last a month.

If you’ve been alive long enough, and it’s fair to assume that’s the case if you’re reading this, your words have failed you. There must’ve been a time when you were so frustrated you couldn’t muster a single word. Perhaps you were so elated that you felt that silence would be best as any words said at the time would ruin the moment. Despite the constant evolution of language, you found yourself at a loss when trying to tell someone how grateful you are for them or how disappointed you are in them.

Our words aren’t just there to describe how we feel. We use language to communicate with others which helps us transmit information and emotions. Communication is essential for all forms of life, not just people. Animals and plants communicate on a basic level. People who are blind can still talk and listen while those that are deaf can use sign language to communicate. Regardless of whether the language you’re using is spoken, written, or signed, there must have been something that you couldn’t convey. Perhaps you felt poorly at the end of an important meeting because you couldn’t get your message across. Maybe you have an old friend who you haven’t talked to in a long time but don’t know how to start a conversation with anymore. Language is insufficient.

An awkward silence is a perfect example of a time when our language failed us, but it’s the least significant. Awkward silences often happen with strangers and people we’re meeting for the first time. It’s always worse when language fails with those we love. Person A is talking to person B. Person A is going through what can be described as “hell” right now and wants to open up to person B. He/She can’t find the words and the problem is cut short by a brief sigh and “I don’t know, never mind.” On the other end of the conversation is person B. Seeing their friend clearly distressed is harsh and something has to be said to alleviate the situation, but again, the right words can’t be found. The conversation ends when the response is, “I wish there was something I could do, I’m here if you ever want to talk.” Unfortunately, that’s the problem and it happens every day.

Our emotions are fleeting and ever changeable, but they’re a part of who we are. You might remember you graduation or the best birthday you ever had. Maybe the picture on your desk of your wedding day never fails to make you smile, or the certificate on the wall makes you proud whenever you look at it. The bad emotions linger with us too. Certain events leave scars that always dampen the mood whenever they’re brought up. These are all emotions that are stored in our brains and brought to the forefront when triggered. They’re what make each of us unique. It’s essential that these emotions are processed properly before they’re put in storage.

You just lost the best career opportunity of your life. How do you move on? You can’t discuss it because others just don’t get it. You’re so aware of the deficiencies in language that any attempt to make you feel better is halted by “I’m fine, just drop it.” Alternatively, you just received the reward for the best achievement of your life. How do you celebrate? Are words enough to describe your happiness and how hard you’ve worked? That’s rarely the case. You tell your loved ones what happened in brief and you move on. Was either of these emotions expressed the way you would have liked? No. Will you remember these events for the rest of your life? Yes. You’re left feeling like your emotions weren’t validated, appreciated, or recognized.

Our body takes over when words fail. You’ve never truly celebrated if you didn’t scream at the top of your voice until it was gone. Your body couldn’t contain the ecstasy and knew that the only way to let it out would be through voice, not words. Alternatively, have you ever been so upset that you lost your voice and started crying? Your body’s way of helping you release the grief is through tears because no words will be able to express your sorrow. It’s ironic that in both of these responses, you lose your voice. It doesn’t matter and you don’t need it. Your celebration was so epic and you feel like you’re walking on a cloud. You don’t care if you can’t respond to small talk for a few days. The opposite is also true. You’re grieving and in tears. You couldn’t explain the situation if you were given a microphone or a pencil and left to express yourself for three days. It’s probably best that you’re incapable of responding to inquisitors trying to find out why you’re upset.

While language is adequate when it comes to small events and incidences, it fails too often when you really need it. Words are capable of describing how great you feel after going for a swim, but they’re not enough when you try to express how much you love your children. You have the right words for when a movie was a complete waste of time, but not to explain why you’re so disappointed in yourself. The hope is that as we evolve and grow, that our languages grow with us. What’s the point of talking if we feel like our words are never enough?

Nationalism and Fear

This is a message from me to you. Who I am doesn’t matter. Let’s talk about you. Your primary feature and the reason I’m sending you this message is that you’re resistant to change. You don’t stand for much. In fact, you don’t stand for anything else. You’re simply opposed to change and what it might bring. If you’re wondering why almost every single revolution in history failed, just look in the mirror.

What else do I know about you? Age is irrelevant and so is social class. You might be filthy rich or living paycheck to paycheck. Ignorance spans all classes, races, and ages. This brings me to my next point: you don’t have any kind of grasp on science. You don’t fact check the things you hear/read or even know how to. If the information is to your liking, you accept it. People like you exist in every continent, country, and city. It’s fair to assume that most of you consider yourselves religious when your grasp on religion is flawed at best.

People like you resist change not out of belief, but out of fear. You’re worried about losing what you have, even if you don’t have anything at all. You will believe all those who keep things the way they are even if you’re negatively impacted by them. They will make excuses and to you, these excuses will make sense. At some point, they will stop making excuses because they realize that they don’t have to. You’re loyal and ignorant enough to come up with them yourself. They don’t even have to try anymore, it’s too easy.

It’s hard for you to sympathize with others. What’s even more ridiculous is that it’s hard for you to sympathize with people whom you might end up like. You see thousands of people dying from a virus but that doesn’t matter to you. You’re healthy right now, aren’t you? The insight to look a week into the future doesn’t exist, therefore, any threat that exists beyond the next 5 minutes doesn’t exist either. Global warming must be a scam. Is it going to destroy your world in the next 5 minutes? No. It doesn’t exist. You will not limit or restrict anything you do for an invisible threat.

One thing I admire is your solidarity. People like you, all over the world, know how to come together. Your fear is too strong that it’ll keep you from budging or changing your stance. The rest of us try to work for a better future. We often try to create a better life not just for us, but for you too. Throughout history, you have made that impossible. The world stopped keeping score a long time ago because your resilience always beats our ambitions.

You believe yourself to be a nationalist while everyone else is a traitor. It’s hard to know whether or not you truly believe this. After all, there has to be some justification in your mind to your actions. Without the veil of nationalism or religion, you’d have to admit that you’re simply terrified. People like you don’t make history. No one is ever remembered for keeping things the way they are. You’re definitely remembered as a group though.

Whenever people tried to change their lives for the better, you were there. Whenever an emperor or king was removed, you were there to appoint another. From refusing to believe that the sun is the center of the universe to arguing that the Earth is flat and that vaccines kill children, you have been there from the very start. You’re part of a creed, the lowest of creeds.

Resisting change is not the natural order of the universe. Everything around us changes from one second to the next. Our bodies, the environment, the planet, and the entire universe are constantly shifting. Your actions and beliefs are not natural and they are not what God intended. Then again, what do you know about science, our bodies, the environment, and the universe?

The reason we, as humans, made it this far is thanks to small victories on our end and small defeats on yours. The planet could also withstand your persistence, resilience, and unparalleled “nationalism.”

That’s no longer the case. More people are afraid than ever before because it’s always easier to instill fear than ambition and a desire for progression. Your community grows while ours shrinks. The planet can no longer tolerate this ongoing battle. With every passing day, your victory is confirmed. Your victory will be our doom. The only way you get away with it is if someone on my side does something to save us. If that happens, you will gloat about how there was never anything to worry about. You knew things would be fine while all we did was overreact. It’s how you get away with anything.

You just have to understand that everyone knows you’re terrified. No one’s buying your act. You can raise your voice and become violent but we all know the truth. You also need to know that when we can longer save you, or save ourselves, it will be your fault and you will never be forgiven.

Silent

It broke his heart when he became deaf. Very few people stayed in touch with him and an even fewer number would still hang out with him. Learning sign language wasn’t all that difficult. What was indeed difficult was finding someone who actually wanted to communicate with him. He had over 20 friends before he lost his hearing, or so he thought. Only 2 of them cared enough to learn sign language. Naturally his life revolved around those who cared enough to want to communicate with him which included his 2 friends and his parents.

Life without sound was strange. He no longer walked around with headphones. He could no longer listen to the voices of artists who have inspired him. Movies and TV shows were only watchable if there were subtitles. His life became more exhausting as things like crossing the street became more difficult. For the first few days his parents would go up to his room to tell him dinner was ready and he could see tears in their eyes and know that they had been calling from downstairs and then realized why that was no longer of any use.

He was forced to give up playing the violin. An instrument he now wished he spent more time playing. Now instead of listening to music that got him through so much before he had to replay his favorite songs in his head. He had to hold on to them to keep them from fading. He held onto his mother’s voice waking him up and his father’s voice giving him advice. He was going to miss the way his friends laughed at his jokes. He was good with impressions but he didn’t feel comfortable doing them anymore now that he couldn’t hear his own voice.

Life became calm and well, obviously quiet. He spent most of his time reading and writing. He considered learning how to lip read but felt it was a pathetic attempt at a normal life. A life he could no longer have. His favorite sitcoms became lame as he realized it was usually how things were said that made them funny. He spent more time with his 2 friends that learned sign language. He could no longer imagine his life without them. He was eternally grateful to them. Perhaps them sticking around helped keep him going.

It took him a while before he accepted to go and meet people who like him, became deaf. There he met a girl who had lost her hearing too.

---

She had lost her hearing in a terrible accident. Deafness was the least of her worries as the accident also cost her her parents. She now lived with her aunt’s family while her older brother was away at college. They were nice people but she couldn’t help but feel like a burden as she supposed anyone in her situation would. She wondered if her aunt and brother would blame her for the accident too if they knew what had happened.

They were driving one night and it was raining when she got into an argument with her parents who wanted her to go to law school like her brother so they can both take over their father’s firm in the near future as his doctors advised him to retire in respect to his heart’s condition. She never intended to become a lawyer, not in a million years. She certainly wasn’t interested in following in her father’s footsteps. She always wanted to study English and maybe become a teacher one day.

As the argument got heated her father’s condition worsened and he pulled over and let his wife drive. Her mother was in tears both because of the argument as well as out of fear for her husband and was probably not the best person to take over the wheel. Instead of heading home she opted to stop at the hospital. As she took the highway exit that led to the hospital she spotted a truck that had been parked shortly after the exit a minute too late. She hit the breaks as hard as they let her but the wet street along with the fact that she had been speeding trying to get to the hospital gave the breaks an impossible task.

When she woke up she was told her parents had passed away and that she suffered severe trauma to the head. They told her she was ‘lucky’ to be alive. She found out the truck belonged to a driver who thought driving in the rain wasn’t worth it and stopped for a hot drink at a diner. A truck they would have never encountered if she hadn’t aggravated her father’s condition.

She became isolated afterwards. Her brother couldn’t stay with her long. Law school was demanding. She buried herself in books about everything. She wasn’t depressed really. Her guilt made her angry. She helped her aunt plenty around the house. She also assisted her aunt’s kids with their homework as much as she could. They all learned sign language for her which made her happy but added to her guilt somewhat.

She wasn’t interested in meeting others who had her “condition”. She didn’t know it would help or make her feel less guilty so she never bothered. Even the ones she ran into she didn’t find interesting. All until one day after weeks of her aunt telling her about it she reluctantly agreed to go to a gathering, and there she met a boy.

To Infinity, but Not Beyond

Beginnings are hard
And so are the middle and the end
There’s no clear message here that I am trying to send
Perhaps I’m just wasting your time
Time so valuable that to waste it’s a crime
That was as sour as lime

Let me start over and introduce myself
But which one, one of us is always on the shelf
One’s a beast and the other needs help
Welp,
We’re going down
Not this again, I don’t want to hear a fucking sound
I got this, I am the greatest
I said it before I ever knew I was
None of that self doubt shit, fuck you, Buzz
I’m light-years ahead
All I see is red
Ambitious as ever, hilarious and clever
Not so fast man let me hit the lever
I’m back, everyone take a moment
What if I make a decision and I can’t own it
What if I can’t fill these shoes what if they don’t fit
On the sidewalk I’ll sit, and contemplate
My self esteem is as empty as a crate
Fuck the hate, no more doubt we’re on a roll
The beast is back and in full control
You’ll never see the light again you pathetic soul
You’re going up for sale as soon as I achieve this goal
Or the next, wait
What if I start to disintegrate
How can I control my God damn fate
Forget it, to hell with both of you it’s time to work
This isn’t the time for useless quirks
Hold on my phone’s ringing
Hope it’s something good
I’ll just check it real quick as fast as I could
It’s a text from her, it must be bright
Thank you God for this rare moment of light
Unlike everything else, her timing’s always right
I wonder what it is, I wonder what kind of story she’ll tell
Oh, it just says “go to hell, it’s the least that you deserve”
I said thanks babe I suppose I might as well
If I can get rid of one of these guys it would be swell

A Scream

This is about my life and how one moment changed it forever. This is a thank you note to Andres Iniesta.

I’ve already written this before when I said how my middle school years were terrible. I was unmotivated, lackluster, and as lazy as people came. I’m not going to lie, I was brilliant in elementary but things changed later on. Maybe it was a natural result of those God forsaken teenage years or maybe it was because nothing seemed interesting.

What remains of my hair is gray and sometimes I feel like an old man. Perhaps it was in middle school that I realized that magic did not exist and that there was no point. Maybe I’m exaggerating and I was simply a no good teenager who didn’t want to get off the couch. Whatever it was, had I continued on like that God knows where I’d be today. Maybe I would’ve given up on being a doctor. Maybe I would have continued to want to be a doctor but would have lacked the energy, strength, and motivation to become one. Perhaps I would’ve barely gotten into medical school but I certainly would not have been enjoying myself the way I am now.

I was in the 9th grade when it happened. I was flipping through the tv aimlessly as always. That’s all I did you know. I flipped through the tv channels all day. The funny thing is that I despise people who do that and have grown to hate television in general. Back to the story: when I came across a rerun of a Barcelona game from that season so I decided to watch. Within a few minutes I found a player (who I soon knew was Dani Alves whom I grew to love) kick the ball into the air over a player then headbutt it into the path of Leo Messi who flicked it into the goal in a manner as smooth and as slick as you’ll ever see.

You know when something happens to you and you get a fuzzy feeling in your chest? You’re thinking “wow what just happened I’m so excited I can’t sit still!” That was exactly it. I’ve never seen anything so mesmerizing. That fuzzy feeling that I hadn’t felt in God knows how many years was thrilling. That rush of blood through your heart and into your skull. It’s like you were about to die and someone shocked you into sinus rhythm. “I’M BACK LIFE, WHAT’S HAPPENING?”

When something gives you that feeling you’d be crazy not to follow through with it. So I started following Barcelona. It was April and I wasn’t going to subscribe to AlJazeera (the broadcaster back then) at the final month of the season, but luckily an Egyptian channel was broadcasting the Champions League semifinals for free and Barcelona was playing against Chelsea. I remember the game at Stamford Bridge like no other even though it was 9 years ago. I sat there after Essien scored begging and praying for a Barcelona goal. I was looking to Messi and Eto’o urging them to do something, but they didn’t.

Time was running up. The full 90 minutes had passed and Barcelona still hadn’t scored. I began to lose the beginning of my faith in magic. In a few more seconds it would be over and all that brilliance from Barcelona was for nothing, what was the fucking point? Hold on, one more chance. The ball drops at Messi’s feet who passes it to Iniesta at the edge of the box. I see him swing his foot and as his foot swung I drew in a breath I did not know my lungs could hold, but that wasn’t important. Finally he released the ball and it was in the back of the net.

I hadn’t raised my voice in years and nothing was capable of getting me excited, but that person was long gone. I had no idea what was happening but I was certainly over every single table, bed, and chair in the apartment all at the same time. I was screaming my lung out. All that frustration and depression that has lasted over 2 years was being replaced with pure magic and belief. I could not stop running and screaming for over 3 minutes that my mother came in later and when she saw Guardiola’s celebration she said “he’s running around over there and you’re doing it over here.”

The referee had whistled and I sat there with tears in my eyes watching replays of the goal over and over. With each replay I looked in anticipation thinking that there’s no way it would go in. Magic isn’t real guys come on, but it did. Andres Iniesta brought the magic in full force and it hasn’t gone every since and it never will. That moment I let go of so much that was holding me back and my chest was filled with a fire that will never be extinguished. I don’t like to think what my life would be like right now if I hadn’t watched those 93 minutes and I like to thank God for the circumstances that allowed it all to happen.

Thank you, Iniesta, for bringing back my faith in magic. You showed me that if you work hard enough and want it bad enough then you can make it happen. We’re no longer privileged to see you play twice a week, but we’ve been blessed to watch you play for so many years. Thank you for a moment that still gives me goosebumps 9 years later.

Alarms

The first alarm of the morning goes off. You’re not simply annoyed because you’re tired and would like to get more sleep. You’re annoyed because this is the first of potentially a dozen alarms that’ll ring throughout the day, and this is the only one you’re actually capable of snoozing. The rest aren’t automated or electrical alarms. They’re all in your head and they’ll continue to go off as long as you breathe. There’s no snooze button, there’s no battery, and there’s no wire.

You turn off the alarm that wakes you up but you can’t go back to sleep. Tick tick tick. You have to get up to go wherever you’re supposed to be. Your head’s stopping you from sleeping, not your phone. As you go on with your day that god forsaken tick tick tick will come back. Again and again. It’s all for things you don’t want to worry about but need to and things you don’t want to do but have to. Why do you have to? Well it could be because of pressure from those around you. It could be because of your expectations of yourself. Finally it could be because you have to do things you dread in order to get to do the things you love. Of course it could be a combination of all of those things.

Obviously the best thing to do would be to say fuck it, but you can’t, can you? This post isn’t about the alarms you can snooze, it’s about the ones that drive you insane. People will tell you it’s not worth it and what will be will be. “It’s all fun. We’re not here for long so why don’t we spend our time here having a good time without stressing out?” But it’s not fun though, is it? If these alarms are going off because you need them to help you achieve your dream(s) then sure it can be fun maybe 50% of the time? But what if they’re going off at the end of the week? What if they’re going off at the end of the day after you’ve already been up for 12 hours and still have more work to do?

It’s not fun when you’ve grown so accustomed to these alarms that their absence is louder than their presence. When you’re done with everything for the day but you can’t get yourself to enjoy a movie, a show, or some music. When you’re out with friends but can’t help but think “this is a huge waste of time, I should be doing something.” And so it begins: the endless cycle.

You start off working because you have to, for whatever reason. Then you’re working because you’ve become productive and hey, if I work a little more today then I’ll have less work to do tomorrow. Eventually you get to a point where you’re working because there’s nothing else for you to do. Nothing else is satisfying or worth the effort. This is your basic state of mind now and anything else isn’t satisfying anymore. Even if what you’re doing doesn’t always leave you satisfied, but you’re left to choose between working and watching a movie. Neither of them is satisfying to you, so you might as well do the productive thing and work.

You’re lucky if you have something or someone that can take your mind off the alarms. If you do, never let go of it. Whatever it is, it’s the reason you haven’t gone insane. It’s why you’re still a functioning person. No matter what they say or how stupid it seems to others, if it makes you OK then fuck everyone and everything else.

Of course if this all seems odd to you and you have no idea what these weird alarms I’m talking about are, well I was going to say I envy you, but I don’t.

 

Happiness: A Choice?

A lot of people say to me that I should change my mindset and become happy and optimistic and all of these wonderful things. It’s also something we constantly hear in movies and read about. The phrase “happiness is a choice” is so common I’m sure you’ve all heard of it.

No one ever really clarifies what they mean by choice though. They just tell you to choose to be happy like it’s an instant thing. You make up your mind and BOOM you’re smiling and birds are singing as they rest on your arm while colorful deer appear from nowhere. It makes you wonder if these people even know what they mean by choosing to be happy. You look at them and think they don’t seem happy either, they’re just repeating something that’s been said over and over. Of course they’re doing this with good intentions, but they lose all credibility and so you dismiss their words.

You go on with your life hearing them over and over again and each time you wonder when people will stop repeating that stupid saying that doesn’t carry any weight or actual meaning to it. Well recently it hit me that happiness is a choice, but it’s nothing like I imagined they meant. Maybe I misunderstood them because I’m slow or maybe they really didn’t know what they were talking about.

I came to the realization that happiness is about holding on to what makes you happy and letting go of what makes you unhappy. It really is a choice, but it’s a choice you have to keep making everyday. It’s not a one time thing. It’s not a state of mind. Everyday you’ll find at least one cause of unhappiness and at least one cause of happiness. It’s completely up to you to hold onto things and let go of others. You’re making these choices several times a day. You’re constantly choosing to be (un)happy.

It’s not always as easy or as clear as forgetting a lame comment from someone or remembering a gift you received. Sometimes a dream you’ve had for years is what’s making you unhappy. Your marriage could be making you unhappy. You saw a random act of kindness in the street that made you happy, but did you hold onto it or was it out of your mind one text later?

Of course I’m not saying you should immediately let go of anything that makes you unhappy because this could be a struggle and overcoming it may turn out to be the greatest thing about your life. So it’s more about knowing when to let go of things. When does your lifelong dream become not worth the fight and letting go of it becomes a necessity? Because we generally do usually hold onto things far longer than we should. It’s not just about wanting to succeed and achieve, it becomes about wanting to NOT fail which results in trapping ourselves in a situation or relationship (romantic or otherwise) because we just refuse to give up and not because we still find it fulfilling and joyful.

Maybe that’s why they say that smarter people have a harder time being happy. Maybe to them it’s about achieving, fulfilling potential, and leaving a mark on the world rather than being happy. They find it harder to quit on projects that they’re working on and they’re always looking for more when sometimes more is actually less. Perhaps they think in letting go that they’re settling for less which means they’re weak and incapable. Maybe it’s more important for them to prove something to themselves or others than to be happy. Their determination is making their choices for them rather than their desire, or lack of, to be happy.

Happiness is definitely a choice, or rather a constant stream of choices. They’re the most difficult choices to make because you have to know when something has reached its end and will result in no more joy, and when something else can still offer you more happiness and is worth this bad period that will eventually pass. It could be argued that letting go of something or someone is a weakness, but it could also be the toughest decision of all.

 

Happiness vs. Freedom [controversial nonsense]

Before we start: I’m still struggling with these ideas so forgive any inconsistency you may notice. Don’t take it personal and start attacking me, like I said: still processing the ideas here. Don’t get too worked up. Honestly, just leave now.

It’s important to undertake the difficult task of defining happiness and freedom before we begin in order to clarify what I’ll be talking about because they’re too broad and they’re words you can’t have set and fixed definitions for.

What is happiness? Happiness is being satisfied, content, delighted, and any cheerful emotion along those lines or maybe all of them at the same time. It’s something you know you’re feeling when it happens. There are a few conditions, however; in order for you to truly be happy. Can you feel happiness if you haven’t eaten for two days? Will you take delight in the birth of your first child if you’re afraid for your life as well as that of your family? Probably not. These things practically fall under human rights and some entity should be accountable for providing them regardless of whether or not it actually does.

What about freedom? We stuck to a fairly traditional definition of happiness. The kind of freedom I’ll be referring to here is a more complete kind of freedom. We’re not talking about freedom of speech or the freedom to dress the way you want, we’re talking about the kind of freedom where you can do whatever it is you want to do. The freedom you get when there’s no government or system to limit, restrain, or punish you. Anarchy isn’t exactly what I’m going for, but if it’ll get you there then sure think of it as anarchy. The freedom to not have to pass through an educational system and get certain grades in order to work in a certain career. You announce yourself an architect. If people think you’re a fraud well they’re free to not use your services, but the government can’t shut you down. Don’t think this kind of freedom makes it okay to hurt others, it’s just that still any form of punishment you receive for hurting someone else won’t lie in the hands of a group of people using rules or laws to judge everyone equally. It will probably be in the hands of the person you hurt or those around him or her.

In this kind of system, or rather the absence of one, there doesn’t have to be chaos but at the same time things aren’t as well defined and as clear as they are in the world as we know it. You may have a shortage of miners, bakers, or scientists. In the absence of a system very few will have the desire to produce and help society evolve simply because there’s no society. At the same time people can be anything they want so the majority of the population may deviate towards a few professions at the expense of others.

Can you be happy living with this much freedom? This IS the height of freedom. There’s no oppression. There’s no system dictating what you should and shouldn’t do. There’s no entity to provide you with your basic human rights such as food, shelter, clean water, an education, and health services. You’re on your own. If this kind of system went into action tomorrow, and given enough time for people to take off their shackles, would you have factory workers? Probably not. Maybe people who already have commitments would find it too risky to try something new but there will definitely be strikes and demands.

Younger generations would refuse to work for someone who makes triple their salary who ultimately works for someone who makes dozens of times their salaries. After all they’re not forced to do this because they weren’t rejected from doing something else such as entering college. They’re free to do whatever they want.

This doesn’t sound very sustainable, does it? So who makes the bread in this scenario? Will there be enough bread for everyone? How can you sleep safely at night knowing that there’s no established punishment for anyone who robs you or kills someone you love? This is absolute freedom though, right? But it hasn’t protected you, fed you, or educated you. Your basic human rights, you have to fight for them now. Someone mugs you in the street well there’s no law enforcement. There’s no law. If you want your money back you’re going to have to look for them yourself and retrieve your things. There’s no police so you can file a report then continue your day and go to work. Where’s the happiness?

That’s why we’ve given up our freedom. We’ve accepted systems that limit our dreams and ambitions because they give us functioning societies. We’ve accepted that if the system says I can’t be a doctor then it’s probably right, after all the system gives me my basic human rights.

We think “The system knows what’s best for us and I accept it even if it means I can’t follow my dream. Tomorrow I’ll get over my dream. I’ll have bread and live a relatively safe life and things will get better. I’ll be happy.” You, me, and so many of us have given in. We need a system because we need the bread. Who doesn’t? In exchange for our freedom, at least we’re happy. To be more accurate at least we believe we’re happy.

What about the factory worker or the baker? Are these their dream jobs? I doubt it. Would they be happy if we lived in total freedom and they had to fight for their basic human rights? I doubt it. For you and me not getting into the college we want for instance and getting into another one it’s a downgrade but it’s OK. We’ll be led to believe that we’re happy eventually. What about the baker? He has his human rights and he accepts his role because society necessitates it. Is he happy? I doubt it. We’ve given up our freedom and settled for less. We’ve given up his freedom and he just accepted it.

What is happiness?

 

 

 

Batman vs Superman: A Different Perspective

As children the vast majority of us preferred Batman and probably even hated Superman. What’s to like about Superman? He’s too overpowered you can’t even imagine him being beaten. Batman on the other hand seems more relatable. He’s human just like me and you. His back can be broken, he can run out of time, and he moves around in a car.

Moreover Batman’s dark theme makes him much more appealing. He’s lost his parents and he really hasn’t had anything since except for Alfred and a few Robins. He’s alone, but he’s a certified badass. You can’t outsmart him. You can’t out-think him. You’ll break his back or kill a Robin and he’ll make a comeback sooner or later. He inspires you because he’s someone, like you, who also struggles and comes out on top. He gives you hope that you can come out on top too. If he can do it then why can’t you?

Why would you relate to Superman though? If I had just one of his many powers I’d never have to work a day in my life. You can’t relate to him because you’ll never use your super speed or strength to solve a problem. You’ll never fly up to space to get energy from the sun in order to be stronger. You’re stuck here on Earth. If anything he should be he despised. Superheroes are made to inspire children. Superman seems like a character made to mock humanity. Where’s the inspiration? Where’s the struggle I can relate to? He’s got it all without even having to work for it.

It comes down to how each of them sees himself. Batman sees himself as Batman. Bruce Wayne is someone he has to pretend to be in order to keep his identity a secret. It’s a necessity. He doesn’t like being Bruce Wayne. Bruce is the alter-ego while Batman is the ego. If the sun stopped shining and it was always dark he’d never take off his cape. It would be time for justice 24/7.

It’s not the same for Supes. To him he’s Clark Kent. It’s who he’d rather be. If he could, he’d never take off his glasses and change in a phone booth. He’d stay at his desk at the Daily Planet working alongside Louis Lane. Being Superman is a responsibility. It’s a duty. Something you don’t want to do but you’re too good a person to ignore. He saves lives and rescues people because it’s a task almost no one else can do. It takes him away from the life he prefers to have and even puts his loved ones in danger.

To me that’s the struggle. That’s the difference between them. Batman is the certified badass who’s almost Sherlock Holmes with a cape. It’s what he spends most of his time doing. He protects Gotham and fights for justice. He’s let go of the rest. He has Alfred, Robin, and maybe a Batgirl. That’s all he chooses to have and maybe it’s all he can have whether he likes it or not.

Superman would probably give his powers to Batman in a heartbeat if he could. He would know they were in safe hands and that they would be used for good. He’d be able to sit at his desk and live a regular life and be happy. So in a way Batman has the ability to live the life Clark Kent wants and vice versa.

You probably can’t think of a fictional character more despicable than the Joker. He’s murdered thousands just for the fun of it. He’s even murdered a Robin. Has Batman ever killed him? No. He’s not Bruce Wayne. He’s not really a “human” who completely loses it. He keeps locking him up time and time again. When the Joker killed Louis Lane, you know what happened? Superman killed him by punching a hole through him, quite literally. That was all Clark Kent. That’s someone who just lost the most important person to them and acted in the most irrational humane way possible.

I guess it comes down to how you see yourself and how you want to live your life. Are you a Batman only focused on “justice” and the tools to achieve it having neglected everything else in life? Or are you a Clark Kent, an alien with a responsibility that’s more of a burden and the desire to get rid of it in order to be happy?

Happiest Years Of My Life

I refuse the notion that my twenties should be the happiest years of my life. In fact I have no respect for a forty something year old who spends his/her days telling people they’ll never be as happy as they are, right now, in their  twenties. I’m not saying your twenties should be miserable, on the contrary. Have fun and do the things that make you happy in your twenties but don’t expect those ten years to be all fun and games.

What is your issue with being a college graduate or over thirty-one? Who told you the fun was over? Is it the responsibilities? Well if we’re going to look at it responsibility wise then your days in your mother’s uterus were probably the glory days of your entire existence. Responsibilities come after exiting the womb too you know. All of a sudden you’re asked to actively suckle/eat, start communicating, and even control when you pee. For someone who spent 9 months doing absolutely nothing these demands seem preposterous compared to the transition between college and life after college.

Is it because your twenties are when you’re supposed to not care about a thing and travel the world? Have you earned the right to those things? Are you traveling at your own expense or are your parents paying for it? If you’re 22-25 then the greatest achievement in your life is graduating college which is nothing basically. You’ve earned nothing. Yes you deserve to be happy but to say that the maximum amount of “fun” you can have should be at an age where you’ve done and achieved nothing is hilarious.

Alright, so it’s none of the above. You’re just logically thinking that since these are the peak years of your life physically and mentally you should utilize all that energy before you start having osteoarthritis. That’s insane. These aren’t the dark ages. Your life expectancy isn’t thirty years at best. Odds are you’re going to live until at least seventy. If your health stops you from having all the fun you want before you’re at least fifty-five then that’s on you for not taking better care of yourself.

Your twenties are arguably the most crucial years of your life. You could either prepare and work to prepare yourselves for great things, or you can spend them feeling bad about all the fun you’re missing and all the countries you haven’t set foot in yet. Yes, you’re at the peak of your physical and mental powers so you should utilize them to build a future for yourself that gets better with each passing decade rather than wanting your life to peak in the first quarter of it.

If you’re not looking forward to the future that’s on you. You want your life to peak early and spend the rest of it in living hell then by all means, go ahead if you can. If your motivation is success, love, money, fame, or anything else then you should be looking to achieving and enjoying what you’re looking for. If you’re so sure that your life will only get worse after your twenties then what’s the point of waking up for your thirtieth birthday?

Have fun, work hard, get tired, and temporarily give up every once in a while then get back to it. It’s okay, you’re only human. Just don’t mentally accept that your life will only go downhill after college and that college wasn’t even that much fun. Don’t prepare yourself for misery by lowering your expectations of the next 50-100 years of your life. Think of your twenties as the engine room of the ship that is your life. Work hard enough and one day it’ll run itself so that you can enjoy the view from the deck.